dinosize | anomaly 008 . pairing & spam

anomaly 008 . pairing & spam

[ He spends a long time going over the file before he contacts her. Early life first, then moving on. Coming on the manner of her death is a sudden and brutal shock, and he has to fight down nausea for several minutes before he starts to calm down again. Flips through the list of her victims, trying not to think about the quantity, but just on the reasons. Finally, he breathes out and turns on the comm. ]

[ private to clementine ]

So. I might find someone to teach me werewolf hunting. Is that what you said?

[ spam ]

[ Catch Stephen around with a toolkit, fixing wobbly tables and chairs in common areas and the cafeteria. Feel free to have him fixing something specifically requested.

Alternatively, catch him floating down a river in CES. Chillin'. In a canoe. Like you do.

Also alternatively, he can always be found going for runs, at least once a day, up and down the stairs and in whatever environment the CES provides for him.

He has hardly said a word to his friends since Nick arrived. But he'll be doing his best to pretend nothing's wrong. ]

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[He wrestled with the idea of talking to Stephen again. He wanted to avoid another break down, which is why he left before. He at least has some idea why Stephen's mad.]

[It's actually when Stephen is out repairing something that he sees him again. He almost let's him go by.]

Do you have a minute?

[ The screw hole has been totally stripped in this table leg, which is why it's been wobbling. Stephen has discovered this and removed the screw, trying to remember an old trick he'd once heard for getting it to stick, when Nick approaches.

The look he shoots Nick is quiet and wary. (He thinks he's just being neutral.) ]

I've got plenty.

[Since he's here, he takes a look at what he's working on. He glances to Stephen's bag to see if he has a dowel that will fit in the stripped hole. If he does, he passes it to Stephen.]

After you died, I kept replaying what happened. Maybe there was something I could've changed. Kept everyone alive.

Later on--[his voice breaks slightly]--when I knew I was dying... all I could think is I should've let her die.

[ It doesn't quite fit. Just a little bit too big. Stephen chews the inside of his cheek, considering.

He's thought about it. Shoving Helen in instead of sacrificing himself. ]

She wouldn't have closed the door.

[ He remembers, after a moment. ] - Toothpicks. [ For fixing the hole. He has a few, or at least he can knock some splinters off the rod. ]

Probably not. If I let her go before the door was damaged it wouldn't have been an issue. [Just... casually talking about how he could have let his wife die.] Not that it matters now.

[He watches Stephen work for a moment.] I have something I want to show you. When you have the time.

[ He viciously knocks a few good-size splinters off of the dowel. Selects a hammer, and gently taps them in. ]

It was her the whole time, wasn't it? Not Lester.

[ He isn't looking at Nick, very deliberately not looking. He can't handle too much of this at once. ]

[He sighs. This isn't news he enjoys breaking, especially to Stephen.]

...Aye. It was. [He almost tells him more but loses his mouth. He'll tell him later or if he asks.]

[ He doesn't respond. Just starts twisting the screw in, with rather more force than strictly necessary. His teeth are set together. ]

[He doesn't like the look of that reaction.]

You couldn't have known. [a beat] She was counting on us--on me--to not trust each other. I'm just as much to blame for that as anyone.

I know.

[ Mean, maybe. But Nick was the one who shut him out. If Nick hadn't, there wouldn't have been any room for Helen to open up that distrust in Stephen. ]

And I could have seen it.

[ But he didn't. ]

[That comment doesn't hurt as much as he thought it would. Maybe it's because he's had more time to deal with it than Stephen.]

Could you? [Honestly curious.]

[ The screw is now all the way in. The table leg isn't wobbling. ]

You think I haven't changed since I was twenty? [ Since Helen had him the first time. ]

No, but you weren't the only one to change.

I loved her, Nick!

[ This is startling; Stephen snaps it, slamming the tool case shut. ]

I loved her. And she's the only one I loved who took half a second to treat me like I wasn't a servant.

And you think I didn't?

[He continues before Stephen can say anything else.]

Stephen, I need you to understand. It's been ten years since she treated me like that. After that, she only came to me when she wanted something. If I refused, she'd find a way to make me. The last time she tried, she killed me when I refused.

If she... If she truly cared for you then... I'm glad. You should be happy.

[ Happy? He wasn't happy. He just had little specks of relief, sometimes.

His face twists, and his hand goes up to cover his mouth.

He hadn't wanted Helen. He'd been so careful not to trust her, trying to listen without judging. But then he'd been alone. ]

You're full of shit.

[ If Nick wanted him to be happy, he would know by now. ]

[Defeated sounding sigh. He'll let it go for now.]

If you're interested, I still want to show you something. I created a map of the anomalies, something that wouldn't have happened without-- [he stops himself.]

It's attached to my cabin.

[ He wipes at his eyes, angrily. This is a weakness he didn't want to show. ]

So now that I'm dead, my opinion is suddenly important to you.

[ And, if he was really pressed, he would admit that he gave in to Helen, this is his fault too. But it doesn't feel like his fault. It feels like the two people he admired most in the world have spent a decade slowly tearing his heart out. And that, in the end, it wasn't even about him. He was too fucking beneath their notice. ]

[He'd been able to be fairly calm about this so far but now his voice comes as a growl, his voice raising.] Stephen, I may not have always agreed with you but your opinion has always mattered. For eight years, Stephen. You were it.

The one time I stopped listening to you... [His expression softens and his voice lowers.] Everything fell apart.

And you were dead before I even had a chance to make it right.

[ His head rests in his hands and he just breathes for a long moment, shuddering. It's what he wants to hear. That he is valued, and wanted. That this wasn't a waste of time. It doesn't soothe him as much as he thinks it should, but it makes everything a little painful.

When he looks up, he's a bit calmer. ]

Well. [ He swallows. ] You could start by getting a haircut.

[He really wasn't sure what he was expecting in response to that but it certainly wasn't anything to do with his hair. He resembles a startled puppy for a second.]

What's wrong with my hair?

[No he hasn't looked in the mirror lately shut up]

[ Stephen gives him a dubious look. ]

Bit long, isn't it?

[He opens his mouth like he's going to argue it then stops.]

It is a bit. Does it look bad?

[ He manages a little bit of a laugh at that, still blinking away the last of the threatening tears. ]

Just weird.

Ah.

[He runs a hand through said hair. He really hadn't bother to cut since... well, since before Stephen died.]

I'll see if I can get it cut.